10 Pros & Cons of a Pandemic Pregnancy

Selfie taken after my Zoom baby shower.

I know what you're thinking…can there possibly be ANY pros to being pregnant during a pandemic? I might have said “No way!” had I not lived it and simply had no other choice than to look for such pros to maintain my joy and sanity! For reference, my list pertains to the pre-vaccinations Covid-19 Pandemic culminating in my son being born on October 22, 2020. Everyone loves a good list, so here goes:

Starting with the obvious CONS. As we used to tell our pre-ballet students at City Ballet Dallas when they would say they CAN’T do something: “You CAN keep trying!” Well, I wish that could've applied in this case:

1. Can't enjoy recreation at some of our favorite places safely.

2. Family can't visit from across the country to help out when the baby is born.

3. Can't hang out with friends or make new mommy friends.

4. Can’t work. I know, some of y'all probably started working from home, but the nature of my job and the fact I was transitioning from teaching dance and Pure Barre in Connecticut to teaching in Virginia meant that I didn't get prioritized when studios were putting their classes online. The Pandemic affected Ben's work as well; filming got postponed and coordinating a time to be the only one in his shared warehouse shop became as tricky as making plans with a flaky Angelino Tinder match. Dinner at midnight on their side of town? In other words…super late and inconvenient.

5. Can't have an in-person baby shower or professional maternity photos like I had always dreamt of having.

6. Can’t go grocery shopping so opted for getting groceries delivered and thoroughly sanitizing each delivery. It was frustrating because we didn't always get what we wanted if the store was out of something or the shopper got the wrong thing (I know, I know, first world problems). Grocery delivery days always occupied a good 3-4 hours of our day, from texting with the shopper about substitutions to sanitizing and putting everything away. Sometimes I was so exhausted from my pregnancy that less perishable items didn’t get dealt with for a few days…

7. Can't safely travel meaning no baby moon. I felt pretty bummed about this as I love traveling and would've really loved to visit the ocean.

8. Can't take in-person birthing, breastfeeding and baby classes. These classes just aren't the same virtually, they lack the personal connection of being face-to-face with an instructor and the opportunity to make friends with fellow expecting parents.

9. Can't shop in-store for maternity and baby stuff. I didn't always end up with maternity clothes that fit regardless of how much I checked the measurements and size charts, so would've really loved to try stuff on. We also didn't get to get our hands on baby gear when making our choices and had to strictly rely on pictures and reviews.

10. Can't get tattoos. Doesn't every pregnant woman have a plan to get a matching tattoo with their baby daddy? No? Just me? Well, it's a con. Now that my baby is born and we have been vaccinated, my fiancé and I plan to finally turn our moon tattoo dream into a reality.

Now on to the PROS:

1. I spent more time in nature than I would have.

2. We weren’t stressed with accommodating visiting family when Alden was born.

3. Abundance of quality time with partner. I got to spend lots of quality time nesting with my love, trying our skills at everything from cutting and coloring hair to backyard DIY maternity photoshoots...

4. I became eligible for and received excellent social services due to my lack of employment. I've never been eligible for unemployment benefits before, being independently contracted, but the combination of the relaxed rules due to the Pandemic and my being pregnant afforded me unemployment and Medicaid.

5. More people were able to attend a Zoom baby shower than an in-person one with less time and travel investment. My sister was such a rock star at creating the best baby shower possible over Zoom, that friends still rave to me about her skills.

6. I stayed really healthy. I didn't catch ANYTHING. I did have a bit of seasonal allergies but Claritin kept em in check.

7. Had time to make and create: tried bunch of new recipes, refinished a dresser, painted nursery shelves, reupholstered 2 chairs, created a painting for our bedroom, and Ben made a bunch of cool furniture for our home as well as built a modest garden and place to hang our hammock.

8. I took lots of guilt-free and FOMO-free naps.

9. I got really good at online shopping and returns. See These Are A Few Of My Favorite [Baby] Things for baby stuff.

10. Had plenty of time to really think about the tattoos.

Here’s hoping this list becomes irrelevant sooner rather than later. Til then, keep your mask over your nose and your chin up!

Alden’s first doctor visit, just a few days old.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite [Baby] Things!

(Yes, I do hope that you just sang that out loud!) I get it, preparing for a new baby can be overwhelming. It certainly was for me. And there are various needs and wants to keep in mind when narrowing down all the options of baby stuff, whether you're putting together your own baby registry, searching for that perfect gift idea, or shopping for your new baby's needs that you didn't think of before. Important considerations for me and my fiancé Ben were:

• Make Caring for Baby Easier

• Non-toxic

• Healthy for Baby

• Eco-friendly

• Grows with Baby

• Less is More

• Balance of Good Quality, Style and Value

• Travel Friendly (we spend half the year in Connecticut and the other half at home in Virginia)

Pair these considerations with the following:

• My Perfectionist Tendencies to Over-Research EVERYTHING

• A Global Pandemic + Unemployment During Pandemic (Translate: Abundance of Time)

• 5 Months with Baby

…and voila! A perfect storm that emboldened me to share a few of my favorite baby things! I hope my experience and hours of obsessive research can help some of you!

Like many other first-time parents, amongst all of the life-saving baby stuff we got at our baby shower, my fiancé and I also got a handful of things that we didn't end up using much, and then found some of our favorite go-to items after our baby arrived. I’ve sorted them into these categories: Clothing & Accessories, Baby Gear, Bathtime, Diapering, Nursing, and Toys & Books. For reference, at the time of writing this, my little boy Alden is 5 months old. So with all that being said, here is a list of baby things that stand out:

Clothing & Accessories

For us, being first-time parents with not many places to go other than the park (because COVID-19), simplicity was our top priority. Although the following list is all you really need, I'm unashamed to admit that I found a lot of pleasure in shopping for adorable non-necessities as well. I was originally a bit leery of $30+ footies (at the top of this section), but trust me when I say, pass on the lower priced pieces and splurge on these gems! You'll get so much more use out of them, as few of these are worth a bunch of the others.

Goumikids Mitts, Gowns and Two-Way Footies: I came across Goumikids specifically for their stay-on mitts, and I stayed for so much more! In case you're wondering “why mitts?” its to [try to] keep baby from scratching themselves and looking like Harry Potter. To start, the mitts stay on squirmy babies due to a hook & loop closure around the wrist, and have a reversible pocket to stimulate tiny brains, which I love because they last twice as long before washing. The zippies and gowns make dressing and diaper changing super easy, even Daddy approves, with respectively their two-way zipper or one-snap opening. Goumikids pulls out all the stops with their convertible mitts (up to 6 months), convertible feet (for all sizes), grippy soles (6+ months), padded knees (6+ months), super soft material blend of bamboo and organic cotton that I can feel confident about putting next to my baby's skin, and their beautiful colors and patterns…”Elegant” is the word that comes to mind. Get $40 off $80+ by clicking my referral link.

Alden's 3 month birthday! Little Sleepies Zippie & Manhattan Skwish Rattle

Little Sleepies Two-Way Zippies: I received one of these as a gift from a friend after Alden was born, and we were hooked. Why weren't all footies this easy? These are made of 100% viscose from bamboo, have a two-way zipper, convertible feet and hands, and come in lots of really fun patterns and colors. They are stretchy, so last a lot longer: for example, Alden can still fit in the Newborn size (we got as a gift) and has plenty of room to still grow in the 3-6 month sizes we purchased when he was nearing 3 months old. Perhaps you could guess, but something worth mentioning, is that the more these stretch, the more see-through they become, but for us this isn't a deal breaker on the off-chance Alden becomes a ballet dancer (after Mommy) or an Olympic figure skater (not after Daddy).

Alden and Daddy, deep in discussion. Carter's Button-up Bear Hooded Cardigan & H&M Corduroy Pants

Carter's Button-Up Bear Hooded Cardigan: This isn't organic cotton but it is cute AF made of 100% super soft cotton. A great layer for going out or hanging at home during the colder months, available in navy, pink and white. I got some zip-up hoodies as well but found the zippers to be quite stiff and ready to poke up into my baby’s face. Pull-over or side-button sweaters or sweatshirts are also good for practical winter layers, but button-up cardigans are at the TOP of my list!

H&M Conscious Collection: Practical basics, frivolous fashion and everything in-between, I always make sure to check here anytime I think “Alden needs a [fill in article of clothing here]”. They have a wide variety of adorable and affordable pieces, in conscious fabrics, whether organic cotton or recycled materials. I've gotten so much use out of everything I've purchased from here. The only downside is that they sell out quickly, so I had some issues trying to put them on my registry, but buy what you want as soon as you see it and you'll be golden.

Hanna Andersson Baby Sweaterknit Leggings: Great for colder months, to throw on under baby gowns or over footies for a ride in the car. Made of 94% organic cotton, 5% nylon, 1% spandex, and super adorable! I sized up on these and because they have sweater-like stretch, they have fit Alden just fine over several months, with still room to grow. I wish they made them in my size! Hanna Andersson is worth checking out as they have a great selection of cute organic baby clothes in addition to these leggings.

Alden enjoying the snow in Magnetic Me Bear Pram.

Magnetic Me Bear Pram: Anything Magnetic Me is a win in my book, because what can be easier than fastening baby clothes with magnets?! Specifically, as we had a late October baby, we loved the warm pram or bunting outfit. The size was labeled “Newborn 5-8 lbs” but thankfully it ran very large. Alden can still (very snuggly) fit into it at 17 lbs. We put him in this all winter for any outdoor walks or doctors visits, even for baby's first snow! The inner lining is 100% organic cotton and outer shell is polyester fleece.

Zutano Booties: Booties that stay on! They have elastic and a snap with two size options around the ankle so they are easy to get on and don't fall off. When they are not on baby, I keep them snapped together so as to not lose one. Nothing worse than a lone booty! I love that they come in both warm fleece for colder days and lighter-weight organic cotton for warmer days, plus for the 6+ month sizes, they have grippy soles ready for babies learning to walk.

Honest Baby Organic Cotton Muslin Swaddles: It took me a minute to learn how to wrap my baby in a swaddle blanket, but once I got the hang of it, I loved using this method to calm our little squeaker. In fact my fiancé learned at the hospital and taught me, so if you need to learn, see “How to Swaddle A Baby according to Master Swaddler Ben Abbott” (coming soon). These were our favorite swaddle blankets of the various brands we used (my fiancé specifically loved the dark blue one in the watercolor world set because it has a nice give for a tight and lasting wrap). All were made of organic cotton, and, this is VERY important, the best were a minimum of 47” x 47” (approximately 120 cm). That size is usually standard, but always check because I made the mistake of getting a few way-too-small cloths labeled as swaddles by not paying attention to this detail. They were useful in other ways, but not for swaddling for very long.

Halo Organic Cotton Sleepsack Swaddles: These are pretty cool, especially for fool-proof swaddling. They have arm holes, a front two-way zipper, and two “wings” that wrap and Velcro around baby, tucking away both arms, one arm, or no arms. The best part about these is how you can change diapers without unswaddling a sleeping baby.

Babylist Swaddle Box: I wish they had this when Alden was still being swaddled but alas, they recently added this very cool collection of the best and easiest swaddles out there, to try out and then stock up on your favorite. We only tried Halo and SwaddleMe, chosen based off other parents’ reviews, and I made sure to only get the organic ones because he would be spending a lot of time during his first months in them.

Woolino 4 Season Ultimate Baby Sleep Sack Wearable Blanket: #Awesome! Possibly my fiancé's favorite item. For when baby starts rolling and the swaddles get retired. No need to buy wearable blankets in multiple sizes or warmth levels (I still don't understand what TOGs are lol), because Woolino offers one blanket for ages 2 months to 2 years, consisting of an inner layer of Merino wool and an outer layer of organic cotton, designed to keep baby at the perfect temperature. They have snaps around the arm openings to adjust to size and, you guessed it, a two-way zipper for those middle of the night diaper changes. The upfront cost seems high, but compared to having multiple blankets and outgrowing them more quickly (not to mention the extra consumption of resources), it’s a total win. We have one of these but I am considering getting a second one as a backup for the inevitable spit up or blow out.

Copper Pearl Bandana Bibs, Burp Cloths, and 5-in-1 Multiuse Carseat Covers: Copper Pearl makes high-quality, super soft, super cute accessories in designs to suit anyone's taste! I'm obsessed with the “diesel” collection, specifically the “hunter” pattern (read: camouflage), but also got some solid colored bibs in “ridge”. The bibs are great for keeping spit-up and drool off sensitive baby skin (and mommy) and reducing the number of complete outfit changes needed. Just swap a wet bib for a dry one and you're ready to roll. The carseat cover can also be worn as a scarf or nursing cover, but don't let that limit your creativity! As a matter of fact, please send me pics of you and your carseat cover! We use it mostly for doctor visits, or anywhere that baby needs protecting from the elements. Lastly, I just got the burp cloths and they are my favorite, so thick, absorbent and soft!

Burt's Bees Burp Cloths: Thought it was worth mentioning that these are my fiancé's favorite burp cloths. They are also very soft, made of organic cotton, and have a nice cotton-jersey-tee-shirt feel to them. Burt's Bees has a good selection of affordable organic cotton baby clothes and accessories. We have a few of their zippie footie pajamas, which are cozy, but lack the bells and whistles of the previous mentions.

And that's a wrap! American Baby Company Blanket & “The Chair” Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker

American Baby Company Natural Cotton Thermal Waffle Blanket: We received this as a gift from my mom, and it's the perfect size at 30” x 40” and weight for daily use. Made out of 100% cotton, it’s held up well several washes later. We always bring it along on car rides and stroller walks, or cover him with it while he's chilling in “The Chair” (which you'll learn about next).

Baby Gear

If you're looking for reading material to last through the first year with baby, look no further than the warning labels plastered all over every chair, wrap, carrier, stroller, car seat, crib, bassinet, bathtub…well you get the picture. I'm surprised there are still companies making baby gear with all the legal risk they face. The good news is, there are, so do the reading (which basically says to use common sense while keeping an eye on baby!).

Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker: If there were an award for “Most Used Baby Gear” this would be the winner. Any parent will tell you to get ANY sort of rocking, swinging, vibrating type of chair and I'm saying “Do it!” There are several options available today, especially with today’s technology, and they range in price from about $40 to, well, expensive. This manual rocker which has battery-powered vibration and a removeable toy bar, has been and continues to be a life-savor, so much so that we call it “The Chair”. I chose it because it was on the more affordable side of such chairs and because it would grow with our little guy. It’s not the most stylish thing available, and it doesn’t have automated swinging, rocking, bouncing or music, but it’s lightweight (easy to move from room to room), durable (survived a move so far), easy to clean (toss the fabric part in the washing machine & air dry), and has kept our baby very happy and soothed daily while we are, say eating or showering or what have you.

Fisher Price Dome: This was recommended to me by a friend who nannied for a family that had one and found it super useful for travel and for spending time outside. It folds open or closed, making set up and storing away super easy, has breathable mesh, can close fully to keep bugs out, plus comes with two cute toys that attach at the top to keep baby entertained. We've used it for Alden's naps during backyard brunches, tummy time in the living room while his sheepskin was getting cleaned and even a few nights of bedside sleeping when we moved and hadn't unpacked our bassinet yet. Speaking of…

Guava Family Lotus Travel Crib & Bassinet Kit: This was one of our top travel-friendly picks, because the crib (which also doubles as a playard) packs up into an easy-to-carry bag and weighs in at only 13 lbs. You may notice I love anything that converts to meet a growing baby’s needs because it also simplifies the amount of stuff that ultimately, I will have to deal with, and thereby simplifies my life! And so, I happily added the bassinet conversion kit with starter sheets for each (Lotus Essentials Set). The bassinet has rockers which come in handy to sooth a little squeaker back to calm at 4 AM, mesh sides at which our baby loves to stare and scratch, and there is nothing automated on this set, which I prefer (our friend’s baby was traumatized by an automated bassinet), but if you are wanting yours to have music, automated rocking, etc., this is not the set for you. We've only used the bassinet so far (nearly every night since we came home from the hospital), but soon will be switching to the travel crib for the next several months until we return home and start putting our baby to sleep in his nursery's full size crib (which I am excited for!) P.S. I also got extra bassinet sheets and crib sheets by Luvberries from Amazon that are really cute, soft and 100% organic cotton. (Sorry, I couldn’t find the bassinet ones currently but will update if I do!)

Inglesina Fast Table Chair: My fiancé and I are pretty excited to start using this travel high chair as we start our little one on purées (since we will be away from home when he turns 6 months). It comes in a variety of stylish colors, folds pretty flat into an attached bag, and clamps onto countertops and (most) tables. I suggest getting the dining tray attachment (sold separately here or as a bundle here) to keep utensils and food contained. We sat Alden in it a handful of times recently and he loved sitting up at the counter with us while we ate. For me there are two downsides to this chair but not deal-breakers: 1) You have to be mindful that where you attach it is very sturdy & won't shatter (read: no glass tables!) 2) The buckles that are meant to secure baby are quite stiff and located in the front to where I accidentally pinched my baby’s chest through his clothes when closing one of the buckles [Cue the baby tears, mom-guilt and anger at that buckle!].

Cutie Carry Diaper Backpack: So cute, in lightweight, waterproof, organic cotton canvas and gender neutral material, this diaper backpack is the best! One of my most favorite and sought after functions is the wipe pocket with quick flap. No need to go digging around looking for wipes while a squirmy, crying baby pees everywhere, in public…OMG! So. Much. Anxiety. Averted! It also has so many pockets for easy organizing, including a cold pocket for a bottle or purées and padded pocket for a laptop, as well as stroller straps (that I haven't used yet) and a matching changing pad. I was also considering some beautiful leather backpacks, but my mom made a good point when she reminded me how heavy the baby and baby stuff will already be, and do I really want to make it that extra 5 lbs. or 10 lbs. heavier on my shoulders? No, and I'm happy I didn't. Love this!

Alden is almost always soothed when worn close to Mommy. Solly Baby Wrap & Guava Family Lotus Travel Bassinet

Solly Baby Wrap: Don't be intimidated by this really long… scarf?! Bring it out and have your partner or a friend help you get confident with it early on, because it's perfect for when baby is little, and will be retired once baby reaches 25 lbs. or so. You will get the hang of it and love baby-wearing, trust me! The Solly comes with easy printed wrapping instructions but if that's not enough, you can find how-to videos on their website as well, and is only meant for wearing baby in one position, facing in towards your chest. The material has just the right amount of stretch to provide comfort and security for both mommy and baby. I wear Alden daily around the house or sometimes out for a quick walk or errands, and he usually falls asleep in it, but not to worry, just tuck his little head under the material and he's as snug as a bug in a rug! When he's awake, it keeps him entertained, learning about the world, and allows me to be more productive while avoiding the repercussions of leaving him in “The Chair” (#MommyGuilt) or having to hold him all day (my arms are going to fall off!).

Ergobaby Omni 360 Baby Carrier All-In-One: This provides a similar result as the above Solly wrap, but allows for use 7-45 lbs. (up to 48 weeks) and multiple carrying positions as baby grows. My fiancé and I were about to go with a Baby Bjorn carrier until our friend (a mom of three boys) suggested that Ergobaby was better, and so we started thorough research, reading through the various features, pros and cons of each. Ergobaby won the round with infant-to-toddler ability, carrying and strap position options, awesome back support waist band and not-to-be-underestimated detachable fanny pack (make sure the one you get has this!), and ease of being able to put baby in and out of it solo (after a few practice rounds with a spotter). Now that Alden has gotten bigger, I sometimes prefer this over the Solly because of the added Ergo-nomic support and because I can face him out to experience the world!

Bathtime

Babies don’t need baths all that often, but when they do…

Stokke Flexi Bathtub with Infant Support: Last year, prior to my pregnancy, we stayed a whole month in a hotel that only had a shower. With my fiancé’s job, I knew these sort of things were out of my control, so I controlled one thing I could: a travel, fold-up bathtub for baby! And voila, bathtime can never be threatened (at least until Alden is 4 or so). I was so satisfied when we arrived to our current temporary home, saw it too only has a shower, and knew we were prepared. I love the helpful-to-overwhelmed-parents features: the infant support seat (which is included in the set, but you can also purchase separately here) and the heat-sensitive drain plug, which turns purple when the water is warm and pink when the water is too hot. They also offer an x-large bath for 0-6 years old. If only it were a little bigger so I could bathe in it too!

Liewood Organic Terry Hooded Fox Towel: Tally ho! I hunted down this fox for weeks and weeks before I found it back in stock, so I am not sure how it will go for you, but if you can get your hands on a Liewood towel of any animal or creature, you won’t be disappointed. We have other hooded towels as well, and all of our towels for baby are 100% organic cotton, but the fox is just too darn cute! We got the 100 cm sized towel (again with those European sizes!), so there is plenty of towel to wrap around Alden for years to come!

Diapering

Having a baby means you will eventually find yourself elbows deep in…baby cuteness! Having a boy means that I have been peed on and having a newborn means that I have been projectile pooped on (I’m assuming and hoping I’m not the only one!). Not to worry, with a little time to adapt (like waiting for “The Pee” before moving the old diaper) and a little help from the right gear, diaper changes can be just that, and not requiring additional maintenance of the surrounding area. Ben & I decided early on that we wanted to cloth diaper as much as we realistically could, but I will cover more about that in detail on another segment (coming soon!), and so I’ve listed items here that are useful for all kinds of diapering.

Keekaroo Peanut Changer: I heard those traditional changing pads need covers on them and often get soiled (read: extra laundry), and I was not interested in finding out if the rumors were true, so I opted for this changing pad. It's made of a (material) that is naturally anti microbial, can easily be wiped clean for when a diaper changes go terribly wrong (which they will!), and is free of all those harmful chemicals and off-gassing that might harm your baby. It comes in a variety of colors to suit any nursery and has raised edges (and a big safety strap) to keep baby in the middle (of course, like with all gear, read the warning labels) and like with all changing pads, at some point, babies might try and roll right off so always keep a hand on ‘em and if you must step across the room quickly, secure them with the strap #safetyfirst. If you love pre-loved, open-box, or floor-model baby gear, Good Buy Gear currently has a gray one available, strap not included.

Dekor Plus Diaper Pail: If you're wondering what the difference is between a diaper pail and a trash can, I was once in your shoes. A diaper pail typically has a double lid, to seal in the stink, and, if it's this one, has an easy way to change disposable bags without having to lift up out of the top. Instead, the front of the pail opens and the bag pulls out, then you can cut the never ending bag, tie a knot and start fresh. We use washable Dekor cloth bags with ours though while we are cloth diapering, but either way the dirty diapers exit through the front. I picked Dekor because the inner lid is easy to operate one handed, with just a flap that you push down. My fiancé claims it traps his hand inside sometimes, which may be because his hands are bigger than mine or it could be a technique thing, or both, but personally I haven’t had any issues. I think some of the other diaper pails have either a smaller flap or an inner lid that is harder to open, making one handed operation more difficult, which is why I went with Dekor. One hand on baby, one hand disposing of the dirty diaper.

Bambino Mio Cloth Baby Wipes: Originally, we thought we might cloth wipe as well as cloth diaper, but after trying it out for about a week, we decided we preferred disposable wipes. So you may be wondering why I’ve listed these. These have come in really handy for drying our baby’s butt after wiping (plus they can also be used to clean tiny hands and faces). They come in fun colors, made of 80% cotton & 20% polyester, and just the right size and absorbency to quickly dry the diaper area before putting on diaper balm and a fresh diaper. I usually clean his butt with a disposable wipe, then cover with one of these cloth wipes and blot his diaper area dry, all while singing “Dry, dry, dry your butt” to the tune of “Row, row, row your boat”. Sometimes, to keep it classy, I say “bum” instead, and rhyme it with “Love, love, love your mum (and your dad)”. They have also saved me from getting peed, because once the drying is over and I am preparing the next diaper, I cover my son’s crotch with the cloth, just in case! And a time or two or three or more, there has been a case.

Earth Mama Organic Diaper Balm: I like that the ingredients are organic, that this balm smells nice, and that it's compatible with cloth diapers. It's also great to use on other areas of dry skin, not just to protect the diaper area.

Nursing

Breastfeeding is hard at first. There’s no sugar coating it. Sometimes, even with intentions to breastfeed, it doesn’t always work out. I feel fortunate that my body and my baby took well to breastfeeding. My suggestion is to surround yourself with support. I worked with two lactation nurses at the hospital and two at my son’s pediatrician within the first week of his life, and they really helped me to find what worked best for us, and then re-find what worked best as he grew and both of our needs changed. Besides these wonderful lactation nurse angels, there are some great products that can help make nursing a bit more comfortable as well. I am still nursing strong, and loving it, and find the benefits outweigh the initial hard-work that has now become routine.

My favorite hangout spot. Carter's by DaVinci Arlo Recliner and Swivel Glider & MyBrestFriend Nursing Pilliow

Carter's by DaVinci Arlo Recliner and Swivel Glider: A comfortable chair to nurse in really makes all the difference! I've sat in a few different rocking chairs and find this one to be the perfect size, material, amount of softness and support, plus the lumbar pillow is a good shape for placing under arm and baby for breastfeeding. I almost went with a traditional rocker base, but am so glad I didn't because the swivel function allows me to manage all kinds of needs that come up while nursing with whichever hand is free at the moment. I also love that the material, while soft and luxurious-looking, is water repellent, stain resistant and Greenguard Gold Certified (that means it's non-toxic for baby). I've spilled plenty of milk on this chair (as you'll find in the next paragraph) and it easily cleans right off, much to this little clean-freak mommy's delight!

Haakaa: I have a love hate relationship with my Haakaa, but I’ve now done the research and made sure to direct you to the newest and best version which has both a silicone neck strap and a suction base. It's basically a one piece, silicone breast pump that works using suction. I “Haakaa” one side while I breastfeed on the other side and am able to collect a running stash of milk, enough for at least one bottle per day so my fiancé can feed our son during one of the morning shifts. I love the single piece, manual convenience of the Haakaa, but I hate how, early on, I frequently knocked it off my boob or tipped it over on the table. I originally had the one with a lid and without the suction base, which neither feature prevented the spilling of my precious milk! Ben engineered (Bengineered) a neck strap for mine so at the very least if it lost suction, it wouldn’t fall too far nor spill. Since my original Haakaa, I've purchased another one which has a suction cup base so that I could carry one on the go and have one at home, and the base helps with the tipping threat, but I also nest mine in a coffee mug to even further reduce the risk of spilling the white gold. It wasn't until I spilled a full Haakaa (which holds up to 4 ounces) all over myself, my baby, my nursing chair and the nursery floor, that I decided whoever coined the phrase “Don't cry over spilled milk” must have never lactated and lost. It’s my milk and I can cry if I want to!

Medela SoftShells: A wonderful lactation consultant at our son’s pediatrician suggested these breast shells to me for my sore, irritated nipples, and they continue to keep me in good shape. They are little domes with air holes allowing for air-flow and a soft silicone inner layer that fits over the nipple without touching, keeping irritating fabrics off and catching any leakage. They are great to wear during the day and alternate with other breast pads during the night. A fun plus for me, having had a ballet body for most of my life, is that they add a cup size (Ben made me mention that, lol).

Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter: I love this stuff. At the hospital, they offered me lanolin to put on my sore nipples along with the instructions to wipe it off before breastfeeding. All I could think was “Uh uh, why didn’t I bring my nipple butter?” This nipple butter is made of non-GMO, USDA organic ingredients (check out the ingredients and certifications on their site) that are safe to eat, so no need to worry if my little babe accidently gets a trace of it a few hours after I applied. I’ve found it useful on other occasionally dry or irritated areas as well. For vegans, they offer a bees-wax free Vegan Nipple Butter.

MyBrestFriend Nursing Pillow: I got this after trying it at our first lactation appointment. Tiny babies can sink and roll off of regular pillows or even rounded nursing pillows, which is why this design works wonders for that newborn stage. It provides a firm, flat surface for baby, snug around mommy, with little contours for baby's head. It clips around mom’s waist, has extra back support and a pouch to stash necessities. At some point, my baby outgrew this pillow, but I used and loved this for EVERY feeding up until about 3 months.

Zyllion Shiatsu Back & Neck Massager: Total. Life. Saver. This was one of those things that I didn’t realize I would need so desperately until I was several weeks into mommy-life with a newborn (nursing and carefully maneuvering an extra 8+ pounds every day) and everything hurt: wrists, arms, shoulders, neck, back… So, my Superman came to the rescue with this gift which now lives on my nursing chair. It can plug into the wall or a car outlet, has a hook and loop elastic strap to easily affix it to a chair back, has a single button that cycles through both heated and non-heated settings, and automatically turns off after 20 minutes (which is great when nursing already has so many things to remember). Zyllion also makes a rechargeable cordless version that I have not tried, for folks needing a massage at the park or on the bus, which, hey, no judgement!

TOYs & Books

Even newborns like to play with toys and enjoy good books. My little squeaker has enjoyed reading along out loud with me or Daddy for most of his life. His lack of finesse on pronouncing the words is outshined by his enthusiasm and animated story-telling. As far as toys go, I didn’t want anything too plastic-y or electronic and I wanted to make sure the materials were safe for my baby to inevitably put into his mouth. Otherwise, I would be extra stressed out trying to play goalie between toy and mouth. We really like all of his toys and books so far, but I’ve narrowed it to a short list of favs.

Manhattan Toy Skwish Color Burst Rattle: Deemed “The Toy”, our little baby loved this toy as soon as he could grasp on with his little hands, and loved it even more once he learned to put it to his mouth. I picked it because it's made of durable rubberwood featuring a water-based non-toxic and stimulating colorful finish, is lightweight and flexible, and makes a pleasant natural rattle sound. His science-loving daddy loves it because it looks like a large scale “representation of a crystalline structure”.

Sassy Soft Sensory Activity Panels: Four two-sided panels with hook and loop along one side so they can be put together like a book or separated to keep one panel in each room or made into a tiny play pen…we've done it all! Alden loves looking at himself in the flexible mirror panel, pondering over the vibrant images, feeling the sensory ribbons, and listening to the sounds he produced with the crinkle page. Perfect for tummy time as well because no need to worry about baby dropping their head into the soft panels.

“That’s Not My…” Series Usborne Touchy-Feely Books: So far, we’ve received four of these from knowing parents. From the touchy-feely nature of every page, teaching babies about textures and their respective words, the easy-to-follow and repetitive narrative by Fiona Watt, giving babies a sense of familiarity, to the adorable, bold illustrations by Rachel Wells, maintaining babies attention, these books have it all. Alden loves these books, and they are fun for us parents too! We have a well-rounded collection thus far: “That’s Not My Puppy”, “That’s Not My Dragon”, “That’s Not My Pony”, and “That’s Not My Tractor”. WARNING: May change the way you talk, for example “That’s not my spaghetti, it’s too saucy”.

WubbaNub Pacifiers: A cute AF plush animal or creature with a Soothie pacifier (for 0-6 months) attached to its mouth, known to rescue crying newborns and panicked parents everywhere. We ended up with three of these: Baby Fox, Baby Dino, and Blue Bear. At first, I was like, “What will I do with all of these?” Then, reality showed me that, I will use them all!!! We keep one in the nursery, one in the living room, and one with his car seat. They are especially perfect in the car or stroller, keeping the pacifier close to baby’s mouth so if he does spit it out, it won’t fall behind his neck or hip. We also noticed that he learned early on how to put a pacifier to his mouth on his own, with the help of the WubbaNub friends! They are machine washable should the need arise, and I found it easy enough to rinse just the pacifier part off as needed.

Apple Park Fox Organic Cotton Stroller Toy: Ben and I loved this toy from the get-go, but at first, Alden couldn’t care less. We would geek out, pulling it down, letting it shake on it’s retractory path, shakes it’s little rattle trying to get our baby’s attention only to get a non-chalant glance at best. Then came that very special day, when Alden looked our dear fox friend, smiled, and even…gasp…reached for it! Proud and happy parents were we! Now, we giddily find him pulling at it without any coaxing from us.

…And that's a wrap!

I hope you found it helpful. Feel free to ask me more about anything I mentioned or didn't mention here as I'm happy to share my experiences. Happy shopping!

Mommy & Daddy after playing with Alden's toys. WubbaNub Pacifier Blue Bear, Apple Park Fox Organic Cotton Stroller Toy, & Sassy Activity Panels (1 of 4)

Goumikids Footie, Copper Pearl Bib, & “The Chair” Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker keeping Alden happy and Mommy entertained.

Getting my groove on with my baby on. Solly Baby Wrap & Guava Family Bassinet.

Hello Pandemic, Goodbye Storybook Pregnancy

Let’s talk about the huge elephant in the room: We’ve all been living with this strange Covid-19 pandemic since mid-March (some of you sooner than that, depending which part of the world you call home). Because of this, I had to come to terms with letting go of my romantic notions of pregnancy and accept how my pregnancy would really go. Being that Ben and I found out about my pregnancy on February 21, 2020, we were able to experience the first few weeks of knowing (and keeping it to ourselves) in an old-”normal”-life fashion. We spent one weekend in Charlottesville, another weekend out near Ben’s farm, and had a healthy social life during those few weeks while enjoying some of our favorite parts of Richmond. I had picked up guest teaching at Pure Barre RVA and was excited to connect to the community there, including several coworkers that were already moms and/or were also pregnant. I (and most likely every other pregnant woman at that point) was expecting the next nine months to be like my own version of pregnancies I see on TV, starting with the basics of glowing, growing, teaching Pure Barre and dance classes, and making life-long friends at local birthing classes. I dreamt of inappropriate strangers coming up to me to touch my belly, make comments on my belly size, ask how far along I am and ask if it’s a girl or a boy. My vision culminating with an amazing in-person baby shower, full of my new local friends and anyone willing to travel, and with my family visiting near my due date to welcome this little human, while helping Ben & I adjust to life with our new baby…

And then, that second week of March hit, when news of the virus's spread became more real, and case numbers were growing and moving closer to Richmond. I remember breaking down at one point during that week, crying to Ben about how terrified I was of the stealth virus: everyone was the potential threat. A virus and fever during the first trimester of pregnancy can have harmful effects on development, not to mention that pregnant women tend to have a compromised immune system. I was scheduled to teach two classes that week, and was feeling a bit nervous. I stuck to my commitments and used lots of sanitizer, but after I left the Pure Barre studio that day and before Pure Barre RVA (and the rest of Virginia) shut down and switched to virtual classes, I decided to not continue to teach, due to the threat it might pose to my pregnancy. The next day, I nervously sweated my way through the grocery store, attempting to stock up on much food as I could fit in my cart while avoiding all the carefree shoppers as best I could. I must have looked crazy. That was the last time I went into a grocery store… I. Was. Terrified.

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Classy bathroom selfie with N-95 mask at one of my many solo prenatal doctor visits during the Covid-19 pandemic.

After that weekend passed, Ben & I chose to lockdown at what I lovingly call the “Richmond Granny House”, only leaving the house for me to attend my prenatal checkups (to which Ben was not allowed to accompany me at first) with the most effective and most uncomfortable N-95 mask. It was a sweet couple of months there, lying out in the lawn, chatting across the road to our lovely friends and neighbors, Ben working on projects in the garage shop, and sanitizing our Kroger grocery deliveries with fervor. My heart broke the morning of my first ultrasound, when I got a call to tell me the ultrasound office was not allowing visitors starting that day, and so Ben would not get to see our sweet babe. I got very used to attending all my appointments solo, so much so that when they first loosened up the ropes to allow one visitor per patient, I missed the memo. Luckily, he was able to join me later on in my pregnancy.

Other heartbreaking decisions we faced due to the pandemic included planning a virtual baby shower rather than an in-person baby shower, Ben going up to Stamford, CT, for work solo while I stayed in Richmond, VA, from my 32nd to 38th week of pregnancy rather than me joining him, and our families resolving to meet our sweet baby boy over FaceTime and Zoom rather than traveling from their prospective parts of the country. And forget about a baby moon! We were too cautious to feel comfortable traveling anywhere, so we opted to make our days at home as special as our creativity would allow.

We have been able to maintain our health thus far, something to be grateful for certainly, but I really look forward to the day when we will be able to visit with friends and family in-person!

Late & Right on Schedule

Do you ever think of something, and shortly thereafter, it manifests? There are many theories about this, some of which I find interesting to try out. For the past several years, I’ve been a curious studier of such theories, specifically the Law of Attraction, although now more than ever in my life am I noticing more and more my desires and my life matching up. This next part of the #MakeMeAMommy adventure is one example.

As mentioned in my last excerpt, Ben had a plan and we were on-track. We had each established residency in Virginia and signed up for health insurance, mine of which would kick in starting February 2020. We did all of this knowing that Ben’s current work in Connecticut would finish in early February, but unsure when he would be starting back on the next season. It could very well be right away or there could be a break of an indefinite length of time. We got word at the end of January, the break would begin in a week and last at least two months. So, I (anxiously) made my arrangements with the open-ended information at hand, put in a full two weeks at my jobs before taking my (hopefully short) leave, and Ben and I moved back to Virginia just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Once in Virginia, I wanted to get to Step 3 as soon as possible, in order to get to Step 4! So, I found an OBGYN and set up the first-available well-woman appointment. Between the time I scheduled the appointment and the actual appointment, things changed.

I was late. 2 days, not unusual. 3 days, suspect. 4 days…Ben put his hands on my midriff with wonder and awe, “There might be our baby inside you!” 5 days? Time for a pregnancy test. That night, we had invited a few friends over for dinner, I was roasting a lamb shoulder, I took the test and…eeee!…called Ben right away! Luckily, I caught him just before he picked up one of our friends on his way home from work. If I hadn’t caught him then, I wasn’t sure when I would have an opportunity to privately tell him. And surely, he would be confused at my refusal of a glass of wine with dinner.

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Watercolor and ink by your’s truly over baby’s 1st pic.

Our friends joined for a fun dinner, while all night, Ben and I secretly celebrated. Secrets, I’m no good at…as the evening started to dwindle down, and most everyone except one friend, Jessica, had disappeared, I started to feel hot. “Is it hot in here?” I ask, and start to turn down the thermostat. “No…” Jessica says and exchanges a look with Ben “…are you pregnant?” Needless to say, I changed my appointment from “well-woman” to “first prenatal”. It’s as though our little one knew exactly when to show up!

The Man With a Plan

Long story short, Ben & I navigated our way through a long-distance courtship and relationship for nearly a year from the first time we spoke. He asked me to move to the East Coast to live with him, and after putting into place some important boundaries for myself, I agreed with pleasure.

I enjoy allowing him to lead us, and am also willing to initiate conversations if I find myself questioning our progress. The magic happens best when I voice my feelings along with quantifiable goals and then I shut-up. Like planting a seed in the soil, it may or may not sprout, but it will certainly not sprout if I keep digging it up to check on it.

The topic of starting a family was one of those seeds. One magical day, Ben came to me of his own accord and shared with me his plan for us to get to work on Mission #MakeMeAMommy. It included a few steps and deadlines (which I love!).

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Spending Thanksgiving 2019 visiting friends in North Carolina, shortly after applying for our Virginia drivers licenses.

• Step 1: Establish residency in our new home state of choice, Virginia, before the end of 2019.

• Step 2: Set up health insurance in Virginia effective starting early 2020, ready for whenever we would next be back in Virginia from Connecticut during a break from Ben’s work.

• Step 3: I would schedule a well-woman’s exam shortly after coverage began to make sure I was good-to-go on getting pregnant.

• Step 4: #MakeMeAMommy!!! Responsibly.

I was over the moon excited that my man had a plan. Hot!

Mission Impossible: Find Mr. Right-Best-Near-Future-Daddy-Ever

Anyone who has ever lived and dated in Los Angeles knows how difficult it can be to find a mate. Most of the men run around with Peter Pan syndrome, and there are plenty of distractions for all. I moved to Los Angeles when I was 29 years old from Dallas, TX, while most of my friends were having babies, I was ending an eight year toxic and thankfully childless marriage, on a mission to heal and then find myself in a healthy relationship with a man who would do anything to have a beautiful family with me. Hence, my long-term mission became #MakeMeAMommy.

Moving to LA was probably not the best place to find Mr. Right-Best-Near-Future-Daddy-Ever, but it was a good place for me on a professional and creative level. When I was 34 and newly dumped after a year-long relationship of wasted baby making time, I found myself bitching out a guy on a first date. He was in his late 30’s, and said he maybe wanted kids sometime in the distant future but not anytime soon. Mind you, he was one of the many guys aged 30-45 with whom I found myself on dates, who all said that same exact thing, and I was fed up to my eyeballs sick of it! The number of dates I went on with each of them decreased over time, as I realized to say “Bye!” to them sooner and sooner.

I was mad. I was mad for myself and for my many single girlfriends in their late 30’s who also wanted families. I was mad at all the guys wasting our time. I was mad at all the people wondering and judging why women my age (especially LA women) ended up with guys that are much older. I’ll tell you why…too many Peter Pans in LA disrespecting our ticking clocks. Seriously, to all the Peter Pans out there…date younger women and stop wasting the precious last baby-making years of amazing women 30+!

I believe that if a person is intelligent, healthy, and a good human being, they have a duty to pro-create. The world needs more humans that are raised by good humans. That was old me, who felt very self-righteous and also may have had a slightly flawed perspective…it turns out, if someone does not want to have children right now, they should really not be having children right now! (P.S. I have many beautiful, talented, smart, fun, amazing single girlfriends that are looking for Mr. Right-Best-Near-Future-Daddy-Ever so if you know of any eligible good humans please let me know!)

I digress…somehow, by the grace of God or the Universe, after saying no to a bunch of “not-wanting-to-have-children-right-now” dudes and maybe a few “wanting-to-but-crazy” dudes, I said “Hello Handsome!” to my match, my Mr. Right-Best-Near-Future-Daddy-Ever, Ben, as I was coming upon my 35th birthday. I was instructed by my co-worker, “You need to call Ben.” So I did. He was on the East Coast, and our first conversation was great, and he ended it with “I have to go back on TV now, but I will call you when I’m done.” (More about that later.)

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A feast of “First'“s: Our first weekend meeting in person, Ben’s first visit to the magical Venice Canals (even though he lived in Pasadena for 18 years!), and Ben’s first trip back to LA since moving to the East Coast.

And he did…granted I was still at work, but we ended up talking for over a combined hour or so that first night and really hit it off. We shared deal breakers, and then, on that first night, on the phone, West Coast to East Coast, is when I told him that I want to be a mommy immediately, within reason of building a healthy foundation and there being attraction, and that I was not interested in dating or talking to anyone who did not want to have children or was unsure about it. He said we could keep talking. And we did…and so it began!